Picture A Small Coffee Shop Where Every Customer Is Secretly A Spy But They’re All Terrible At Hiding

Picture a small coffee shop where every customer is secretly a spy, but they’re all terrible at hiding it. The barista, an elderly woman with thick glasses, serves lattes and scones with a sly wink, her apron stuffed with listening devices she forgets to turn on. A man in a trench coat sits at the corner table, loudly whispering into his fake mustache microphone, unaware that his briefcase has been swapped with someone else's lunchbox. Across the room, two women have an overly dramatic argument about muffins, their voices rising and falling like an opera. Both of them accidentally drop tiny, buzzing drones from their pockets mid-argument, and they roll under a table where a toddler grabs them, thinking they’re toys. The toddler’s mother, engrossed in texting her friend about the latest reality show, has no idea that the drones are now broadcasting classified muffin recipes to an undisclosed location. Meanwhile, the coffee shop cat lounges on the counter, wearing a suspiciously high-tech collar that occasionally emits a faint ‘meow’ sound in Morse code. At exactly noon, all the spies simultaneously receive an encrypted message on their phones, but the signal jams, and all they hear is the café’s Wi-Fi password repeated on loop. Chaos ensues as someone accidentally sets off the espresso machine, which starts frothing milk into coded messages, while the barista just shakes her head and mutters, ‘Amateurs.

03.12.2024 12:11